Local author Jaclyn Youhana Garver released her debut novel Then, Again last month. The book is a coming-of-age story about a woman who reconnects with her first love while her husband is in a coma. It's a story about grief, self-identity and first loves.
Garver, a former journalist, poet and now published author, talks about the book and the journey that got it on shelves.
Your new book, 'Then Again,' tells the story of a woman who, while her husband is in a coma, reconnects with an old love from her childhood. The story presents as romance, but there's a lot about grief and identity in it. Where did the idea for Then, Again come from?
Jaclyn Youhana Garver: So, I love coming of age stories. Those are just one of my absolute favorites. So, the earliest timeline where Asha is in junior high and in high school, that timeline came first. And so much of fiction is answering the question; "What if?" So, I was, you know, thinking about the question, what if an old boyfriend came to town? What would that look like if you haven't seen each other in however many years? And that was kind of the impetus from it.
So, I wanted to give Asha a really happy life, so that it was a hard decision. It wasn't like she was in a bad marriage. It wasn't like she went through a miserable divorce or anything. She she was with the love of her life. She was with the best person for her and that, you know, then he was in a coma. So, what now? This other avenue to happiness presents itself and and what do you do?
This book digs into the messiness of grief and sort of the fear that comes along with moving forward from that grief. Can you speak a bit about like that message and what that means to you?
JYG: I think often we think of grief as something to get over, and I don't think you ever get over grief, especially when you're talking about loss of a loved one. You don't heal from it. You build around it. And I think as time goes on, you know, maybe not everything brings you to hysterics, but it will just come out of the blue. I've never gone through something like Asha has gone through. My, I guess, biggest loss, I was very close to my grandmother when she died. And, you know, years later, she was an opera singer, and she was a singer and and years later, I can hear a song and just be going about my day and just all of a sudden lose my mind. And I kind of love that that happens. That doesn't happen to you unless you experience love. And I think that was always, that was interesting to me, and going through that experience was really interesting to me.
So I was, you know, looking at at Asha, who's still kind of in the throes of it. She's not really at the at that place yet, where it's years later. And also she's grieving someone who's sort of lost, but not really. I mean, she could still go visit him. So, it just adds to this other messy layer and and what does that look like.
Early on in the book, she Googles, are you allowed to date when her husband is in a coma? And I 100% Google that, not because my husband is in a coma, but because I did not know the answer for for Asha. And the response I found was something I worked into what she found, which I thought was so fascinating. And basically the idea is that, you know, no one knows a relationship but you and the person in it, nobody knows, and so what other people think doesn't matter. What is best for you, and what do you think your partner would want for you? And I thought that was such a beautiful response to her dilemma.
There was a line in there that was about like she her seeing the possibility of a life without him, like getting back to a life without him. And then, isn't that terrifying that she can even see that? And I thought that that was like really, really poignant and wonderful.
JYG: Thank you.
The story is set in Cincinnati. I'm curious why you chose that setting, and like, what effect the Midwest had on the story building for this?
JYG: Absolutely. I grew up in Westchester. I was born in Joliet, Illinois, and in about fifth grade, my family moved to Westchester, and I lived there through high school. And, you know, Asha moves to Cincinnati as well, a little later than I did, and never leaves. I eventually moved away, but she, she kind of stays there, and I can't imagine a coming of age story that's not set in the 90s in the Midwest. I mean, it's just, it's such a millennial story, and I wanted to lean into that, because it affected so many of her first experiences. I mean, her first love situations, there weren't any cell phones for her to deal with. And if she wanted to talk to, you know, her teenage boyfriend, she had to call his house and risk talking to a parent, and if she couldn't find him, she couldn't just text him and say, where are you? She had to sit there and stew. And so all of all of those aspects affected Asha's coming of age.
The story, you know, if it were set today, that first love experience would be so different. Not better, not worse, but just, you know, we're all a product of our times, and we're all a product of of the years that we grew up in. And this one for me, I wanted to happen in the in the 90s.
One thing I immediately really enjoyed about this book was the sort of timeline hopping split between Asha's present day, her initial relationship with Jason, her relationship with her husband, Charlie. What made you want to tell the story in that format?
JYG: I love reading stories that hop around in time. I think they're they're fascinating, and there was... So much of our present day is informed by what happened to us in our past. And I suppose I could have told this chronologically, but I think that would have done a disservice to the story, because I wanted that present day to always be present day, and then I just have Asha reflecting on these memories that are related to what she's going through.
And I think from a storytelling perspective and just from being a human, comparing, contrasting those first experiences in love; first kisses, first times you go on a date, first time your parent meets the person you're dating. I mean, when you're experiencing that as a 14-year-old and you're experiencing that as a 20-something-year-old, those are completely different. And I think it's really interesting and fun to see how one can inform the other. And we don't mean to do it, but we everyone compares. And I thought that the best way, and the most interesting way, and sometimes the funniest way to illustrate that, is by kind of braiding those storylines together.
You and I spoke a few years ago when you had just sort of started your poetry writing journey, and now you're here with your debut novel. So what has that trajectory been like for you?
JYG: Honestly, I started writing poetry in probably, like, sixth grade. I've been doing that forever. That was really the first creative writing I did during the pandemic. Is when I'm like, 'Okay, if I really want to do something with this, I've gotten to a point where I've gotten as I can get on my own, and I need help.' And so that was really where I took the opportunity to say, 'Okay, I'm gonna take classes, I'm going to sign up for conferences, I'm gonna try to find mentors, I'm gonna try to find community in this area,' and that, yeah, that was something that kind of started for me just just before the pandemic, and then the pandemic hit, and I'm like, 'Well, I have this time. Let's figure it out.' So for me, it's very much a straight line from taking those classes to finding my community and building up the confidence to take my writing personally.
For so long, it's such an absurd goal. Like, who- Nobody writes a- No one writes a book, let alonepublishes a book. And so I was so focused on that that I kind of had to step back and be like, 'wait a minute, give it a shot.' Like, for me, the end goal is always just the writing. And knowing that about myself made it a little easier and a little less scary to say 'all right, let's give it a shot. Let's figure out how to find an agent. Let's you know, are there publishers that would be into this,' and I don't know. To see me taking my writing seriously five years ago and seeing where it has brought it now is incredible.
I'm so proud of myself. Am I allowed to say that? Are we allowed to say that I'm so proud of myself, and I'm absolutely humbled by people's interest and responses to the story. It is the coolest thing, and I couldn't have possibly imagined any of this, and I'm just trying to revel in it all.
On that, what would you say to someone who is sort of in the position you were five years ago, where they're thinking about taking it seriously, but doesn't that seem crazy? What would you say to them?
JYG: First, I'd ask what are your goals? Is your goal to get published, or is your goal to finish a book? Is your goal to be rich and famous? I think you have to know what that is before you decide your next steps. Like for me, my goal was not to get published. My goal was just to finish the book. And I figured, I mean, I'm a writer. My background is in writing. My degrees in newspaper journalism. I worked at a newspaper for eight years, and I'm in marketing now, but I still do writing all the time. You can't know what steps to take, if you don't know where you want to end up, and if your goal is absolutely to be published, then, you know, maybe look at self publishing, because it is a long road to go the traditional route, and because I knew if it didn't happen for me, I'd be okay with it. I'm like, let's do, let's go the ridiculously hard route, because I didn't want to be responsible for marketing the book. I didn't want to be responsible for distribution. And so I figured, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it in a way where I can partner with people who could do that business stuff that I don't want to deal with.
Last question, and it's kind of a doozy. What's next?
Oh, my goodness. So my agent is shopping around another book. It'd be cool if it's number two, who knows? This might be a one and done deal. It'd be cool if it's not, but I'll be fine if it is, and I just broke the 40,000 word mark in another project. So, yeah.
So, do you sleep or...?
JYG: You know, journalism is the greatest practice to write novels because you it makes you write fast and it you know, I love the adage 'done is better than perfect,' and that's something that's really hard for a lot of creative writers. They just noodle and noodle and noodle, and you don't finish when you noodle, you got to move on. And it toughens your skin. I don't read many of the reviews. I keep eyeballing them because I want my star rating high enough that I get to keep doing this . Like that's the only- like, that's the main thing. And I've seen a couple, you know, one or two stars, and I'm checking I'm checking those out, and I'm like, 'oh, okay, I disagree with you, but cool.' And it's really nice to be able to do that. And, you know, register, okay, this isn't for you, and nothing is for everyone, right? Everyone's gonna have their target audience. And, you know, there's definitely a certain sensibility that I think would be into this. And that's cool, that's how it should be.
